Look For Me In Rainbows
Time for me to go now, I won't say goodbye;
Look for me in rainbows, way up in the sky.
In the morning sunrise when all the world is new,
Just look for me and love me, as you know I loved you.
Time for me to leave you, I won't say goodbye;
Look for me in rainbows, high up in the sky.
In the evening sunset, when all the world is through,
Just look for me and love me, and I'll be close to you.
It won't be forever,
the day will come and then My loving arms will hold you,
when we meet again.
Time for us to part now, we won't say goodbye;
Look for me in rainbows, shining in the sky.
Every waking moment,
and all your whole life through Just look for me and love me,
as you know I loved you.
Just wish me to be near you,
And I'll be there with you.
£322 Donated in Memory of Tina to Cancer Research UK .2015
My respects and memories for Mama Tina. xx
I just want to say thank you all for joining us today to pay your respects and say goodbye to my beloved mum. So, while I have your ears I would like to take this opportunity to briefly share with you some of the fondest memories I have and always will cherish, of such a beautiful soul, I was blessed to have as my gentle loving mama.
She made me 35 years ago, before me, she had a whole different life which I know very little about – what I can tell you about is for the last 35 years she dedicated her time to teach me about life, with all its ups and downs, now you have to understand that quite a lot of what she told me would go in one ear and straight out the other – but somehow she never turned her back on me, she was always there to share my good times and was always, always at the end of the phone for me, sometimes up to three or four times in a day.
The last few years had been difficult – both physically and mentally, with an illness that eventually took her away from us. There were times recently when she was just too tired to even talk on the phone or during our visits she would understandably become short tempered when we tried taking and squabbling over her favourite TV soaps, but now we can happily chatter on and on till our hearts are content, as she can’t actually tell us to be quiet anymore. That is until she figures out how to haunt us, and starts throwing random objects at us. Luckily for Tony and us there aren’t so many ornaments around for that to happen.
Having said that, we believe she is working on it she already is tampering with things around us – we have already experienced a few extraordinary things going on around us – which even logic can’t explain and these little moments are bringing us so much joy from feeling like she is actually there with us, and so I know your listening mum, and I just am again thanking you for being you, for all the things you did for us, for all the years, you always just did whatever you could to bail me out of whatever little messes I would get myself into.
When my first born Tyler arrived, mum was already a well-established and experienced gift giver for her three beautiful granddaughters, Tilly, Francais and Maisi, but mum quickly realised her handmade gifts wouldn’t be as gratefully accepted by her first and only grandson, so she quickly adapted her handmade gifts from girlie dollies and handbags to an all-out assault on Ebay, where she frantically bid on bargain toy cars and boy books. In fact, Ty’s chest would puff up with pride when she would greet him with a wink and reminding him that, he is her favourite grandson……although, her sarcasm was never lost on him, as he would always quickly reply – Hang on, of course I’m your favourite Grandson - Nanny – I’m your ONLY grandson!!
Tyler wanted me to share one of his all-time favourite nanny moments – and there loads to choose from, but here goes; he says the day we went to collect Aunty Doreen to take her back to the airport, Tyler got me to drop him off on the corner and wait for a few minutes – he then casually strolled into nans, and announced that he was going to have to move in as I had had enough of him, so could he move in please. Her face was a picture he said – her jaw dropped straight to the floor and she quickly looked out the window for my car and realise I wasn’t there, he couldn’t hold back his delight and laughed telling her – Just kidding nan, seriously though – what times dinner – I’m hungry for your special pasta bake!!
Some of my own most fondest memories are from when I was a little girl, when I was just small enough to sit on her lap – although she insisted I was in fact too big, so eventually those affectionate cuddles turned into what is now generally accepted as child slave labour, I would “snuggle up” behind her on the back of the settee, while she played her favourite Bee Gees tunes-we would sit together there in perfect harmony, me twiddling her hair and both watching the tropical fish tank, occasionally giggling between the records as it was so quiet she said you could hear the fish fart!!
This unique bonding experience was later bestowed upon my own daughter Deja, who insisted that at every visit we made to nanny and granddad’s, it would ALWAYS include a healthy dose of nanny’s hair twiddles……..whether she liked it or not. This act clearly gave nanny great comfort as, just as she would she would just close her eyes, and even with them shut you could see her smiling from the creases by her eyes! It always seemed to refresh her, and I remember one mother’s day a few years ago that I couldn’t visit, so instead I sent her for an Indian head massage as a treat, which she reported back, was an extraordinary experience that she gratefully would never forget, despite Deja’s continued attempts at recreating that experience for her, every time we visited…………Which leads me to Deja’s own words she wanted me to share with everyone;
Nanna Tina was a very special person in my life, that if I ever felt miserable I would think of her and it would put a smile on my face, she was the one and only, she was the syrup to my pancake. I will always remember when I had a belly ache or had hurt myself, I would phone her and she would always tell me to put Vaseline on it (hehe). She was so funny! I remember the last time I saw her, I did her hair and I TRIED to do a clear coat of varnish on her nails… but she wouldn’t let me. Now she’s watching over me and knows that I’m getting better at doing them.
I will never forget asking Nan why she had so many cats everywhere, and her reply would always be the same, she said they were all so pretty that she liked to look at them, now when I go to charity shops I always look for cat ornaments.
There was this one time I was round hers and we were playing scrabble and I wrote a word FUG and everyone thought it wasn’t a word and teased me for it, well that night Nanna went to sleep and when she woke up, she picked up her dictionary and looked for the word FUG so she rang me to say I could proudly tell mum and Tyler o shut up as it was a real word and I so she helped me prove everyone wrong (hehe). Nanny is a part of me, she lives within my soul now and I will always remember her. Love Deja.
So, mum taught me to have unconditional love for my own children, endless patience….and most of all, that whatever happens – it happens for a reason, even if it is hard to understand straight away. I still love my chats with Tony on the phone, and although he was also blessed with her company, and had some of the best times with her, he was strong for her and delivered the cruellest news that she had passed on Mothers day. In her passing I find myself in moments of extremely painful emptiness at this loss, but at the same time I also find a serene sense of peace, because her pains are finished now. Deep down, I felt it was very fitting for her to go on Mothers day, as it has brought me a whole new dimension to the day, and I will always take extra special care to make sure getting an Indian head massage is my own Mothers day tradition from here onwards, with the concept that she is completely at peace in the spiritual realm, reunited with nanny Joan, and grandad Dennis, she is all around us now. I will remember her as a beautiful and respected woman, a loving mother, an adoring grandmother, and best friend and wife to Tony. Don’t worry mum, we will keep strong, and be with you one day ourselves x
Afterglow I’d like the memory of me to be a happy one I’d like to leave an afterglow of smiles when life is done I’d like to leave an echo whispering softly down the ways Of happy times and laughing times, and bright and sunny days I’d like the tears of those who grieve, to dry before the sun Of happy memories that I leave when life is done.
THE LORD’S PRAYER Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name; thy kingdom come; thy will be done; on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation; but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, the power, and the glory, for ever and ever. Amen.
A CELEBRATION OF TINA’S LIFE HYMN
Lead us, heavenly Father, lead us O’er the world’s tempestuous sea; Guard us, guide us, keep us, feed us, For we have no help but thee; Yet possessing every blessing If our God our Father be. Saviour, breathe forgiveness o’er us: All our weakness thou dost know; Thou didst tread this earth before us, Thou didst feel its keenest woe; Lone and dreary, faint and weary, Through the desert thou didst go. Spirit of our God, descending, Fill our hearts with heavenly joy, Love with every passion blending, Pleasure that can never cloy: Thus provided, pardoned, guided, Nothing can our peace destroy.